A true cat....purrs only to please itself.
A true cat will endure discomfort for hours and wait patiently until 3 a.m.
to cough up a hairball on your bed.
A true cat always comes between you and your newspaper.
A true cat has a Houdini-like repertoire of ways to slip out of a collar and
dozens of places to hide it where you'll never find it again.
A true cat would rather eat what you're having, even it what you fixed
for him is better that what you fixed for yourself.
A true cat knows his name but will never acknowledge it.
A true cat likes to roll around in the dirt, especially if she's just had a shampoo.
That's because true cats prefer to do their own grooming.
A true cat enjoys catching, tormenting and killing small furry creatures and
leaving them as gifts for her owner especially if her owner is a vegetarian, or so it seems.
True cats prefer to eat from the same china you use,
not out of cute bowls with "Kitty" or "Tune Breath" written on the sides.
That's because true cats hate being condescended to.
And true cats don't require a parsley garnish with their dinner
like that cat in the ad. They'd rather eat the grass.
A true cat never fawns.
Or begs.
Or grovels.
True cats have perfected the guilt-provoking stare.
A true cat prefers to sharpen his claws on authentic imported oriental carpets,
not cheap imitation knock-offs.
A true cat is often willing to make a fool of herself, but only on her own terms.
You may think you picked a true cat, but the fact is a true cat picked you.
That's because a true cat is always the cutest, smartest kitten in the litter.
Or the cutest, smartest cat in the shelter.
Or the cutest, smartest cat who shows up full grown at your door and moves in.
True cats love anything that smells bad. The worse it smells the better they like it.
A true cat prefers your flower bed to her litter box.
A true cat isn't declawed.
And if by chance a true cat is declawed, he acts as though he wasn't.
A true cat never willingly laps up hairball remedy,
no matter what the instructions on the package say.
A true cat can find and discard the smallest pill in the largest heap of food.
That's why administering a pill to a true cat is a two-person job.
Sometimes a three-person job.
A true cat doesn't do tricks.
A true cat has hiding places you'll never find.
A true cat abhors a closed door.
When caught misbehaving a true cat pretends he was doing something else.
A true cat is sociable. He loves parties, especially the hors d'oeuvres.
A true cat keeps a collection of vintage catnip mice hidden under
the furniture and takes them out occasionally to see how they're aging.
A true cat doesn't care to learn how to use your toilet.
Would you want to share his litter box?
A true cat will endure discomfort for hours and wait patiently until 3 a.m.
to cough up a hairball on your bed.
A true cat always comes between you and your newspaper.
A true cat has a Houdini-like repertoire of ways to slip out of a collar and
dozens of places to hide it where you'll never find it again.
A true cat would rather eat what you're having, even it what you fixed
for him is better that what you fixed for yourself.
A true cat knows his name but will never acknowledge it.
A true cat likes to roll around in the dirt, especially if she's just had a shampoo.
That's because true cats prefer to do their own grooming.
A true cat enjoys catching, tormenting and killing small furry creatures and
leaving them as gifts for her owner especially if her owner is a vegetarian, or so it seems.
True cats prefer to eat from the same china you use,
not out of cute bowls with "Kitty" or "Tune Breath" written on the sides.
That's because true cats hate being condescended to.
And true cats don't require a parsley garnish with their dinner
like that cat in the ad. They'd rather eat the grass.
A true cat never fawns.
Or begs.
Or grovels.
True cats have perfected the guilt-provoking stare.
A true cat prefers to sharpen his claws on authentic imported oriental carpets,
not cheap imitation knock-offs.
A true cat is often willing to make a fool of herself, but only on her own terms.
You may think you picked a true cat, but the fact is a true cat picked you.
That's because a true cat is always the cutest, smartest kitten in the litter.
Or the cutest, smartest cat in the shelter.
Or the cutest, smartest cat who shows up full grown at your door and moves in.
True cats love anything that smells bad. The worse it smells the better they like it.
A true cat prefers your flower bed to her litter box.
A true cat isn't declawed.
And if by chance a true cat is declawed, he acts as though he wasn't.
A true cat never willingly laps up hairball remedy,
no matter what the instructions on the package say.
A true cat can find and discard the smallest pill in the largest heap of food.
That's why administering a pill to a true cat is a two-person job.
Sometimes a three-person job.
A true cat doesn't do tricks.
A true cat has hiding places you'll never find.
A true cat abhors a closed door.
When caught misbehaving a true cat pretends he was doing something else.
A true cat is sociable. He loves parties, especially the hors d'oeuvres.
A true cat keeps a collection of vintage catnip mice hidden under
the furniture and takes them out occasionally to see how they're aging.
A true cat doesn't care to learn how to use your toilet.
Would you want to share his litter box?
source: http://www.catscans.com
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